Lightly edited for readability while preserving the speaker’s meaning and substantive statements.
Welcome everybody. I know there's people from all over the country uh that came here today. That always seems to be whenever we put on a conference, remember um Pastor Dana Danley put on a conference. We have people come from all over. It just lets you know how much impact that this uh church and this ministry is having throughout the world. Amen. Amen. So, first of all, and I know we're not live right now, but I promised somebody, my brother Gains from Lakeland, Florida, I wanted to give his wife Caroline and his fourmonth-old daughter Melody, a shout out. And uh he said she would get a big kick out of this. She allowed her husband to come and be a part of this and she stayed and took care of the baby. And uh y'all can we give her just a clap of praise and say that when we see this I think she'll she'll really appreciate that. Amen. So first of all I would like to thank pastors Dean and Nancy Odel for putting on this important conference and second inviting pastor D and me to be a part of it. At the end of uh 2024, the Lord told me that we would spend a lot of time and focus on marriage in 2025. I was actually thinking about and was thinking the Lord was going to ask Next Level Ministries uh to put on a conference and it's my understanding that this was the brainchild of uh Pastor Nancy. So, um, I would like to thank Pastor Nancy and all those at Fire of Grace for all the heavy lifting that they had to do here to get this together. Uh, D and I have put on three marriage conferences over the years. Uh, and it's a lot of work. It's a lot of work. I can tell you that. And um as I sought the Lord on what message I should bring uh for the marriage boot camp, I felt compelled by God to remind all of us how good marriage is. Amen. Marriage is a precious gift of God. Marriage is beneficial to both of you. It enhances your life experience and makes it easier. The devil has very clever clever ways of getting us to forget or to get focused on the wrong things. But this morning, God wants to remind wants to remind you that marriage is a blessing. Amen. So, let me pray real quick. Father God, Lord, we thank you once again for this opportunity, Lord, to to talk and to to your people, to instruct them,
Lord, what is on your heart, Lord. And I thank you for choosing me to be the vessel to bring forth this word, Father, as Pastor Dean already prayed. I Lord, I pray that you break up the foul ground of every heart, Father. Lord, to receive what you have to say. And Father, I pray that you anoint this word, Lord, I pray in Jesus name. Amen. So our title today is, as you already see on the paper, the benefit of the spouse. The benefit of the spouse. And I want to start off by saying I believe that every marriage conference is also a singles conference. And the reason why I say that is because if you have a desire to be married, then the wisdom and instruction given today will be to you invaluable. Amen. So if you're a woman out there that's believing the Lord, for your husband or husband that's believe in the Lord for a wife, why not begin your training now? Amen. So always look at it that way. And you're going to find out as I begin to go through this, there's a lot in here for people that are waiting on the Lord right now. Amen. So, like I said, marriage is beautiful and was meant to benefit your life in every way. Today, we will let the Bible remind us why. So, this message has five parts. Five parts we're going to talk about. So, we're going to talk about part one. And part one is marriage is the divine will of God. And this the divine will of God. So to search this out, we got to go back to the beginning. Amen. Can we go back and look at the blueprint? Let's go back to Genesis chapter 2. If you have your Bibles, you want to go there. Genesis chapter 2. We're going to look at certain verses here in Genesis chapter 2. We're going to start in verse 18. Says, "And the Lord said, it is not good that man should be alone. I will make him a help me for him." I want to read that very end one more time because for 40some years, I've been reading this wrong. And while I was putting this message together, the Lord spoke to me and said, "You're reading it wrong." Can I read that last part? Let's just read the whole thing again, but I want to read it right this time. And the Lord God said, "It's not good that man should be alone. I will make and help come meet for him." I've been just saying help me. Just putting it all together real quick. He said, but he said, "I will make a help meet for him." Now let's go down to
verse 20 now. And Adam gave names to all the cattle and to the fowl of the air and to every beast of the field. But for Adam there was not found and help me meet for him. And the Lord God caused a deep sleep to fall upon Adam and he slept. And he took one of the ribs and closed the flesh instead thereof. and the root which the Lord God had taken from man made he a woman and brought her unto the man. Now let's skip down to verse 24. Therefore shall a man leave his father and mother and shall cleave unto his wife and they shall be one flesh. Hallelujah. There is so much in this passage you guys and I've taught on it many times over the years. But every time I get ready to teach on it, the Holy Spirit shows me a little bit more. So let's go back to verse 18. God declares it's not good that man or we could say the male should be alone. God does not intend for you to live your entire life alone. It is the will for God for you to be married. Amen. We can see that from the word. This is where the Roman Catholic Church screwed things up. not allowing priests and nuns to be married. And that's why they have so much um pedophilia in the church, why there's so much homosexuality in the church, their church, and I'm talking about amongst the priests, why there's so much lesbianism amongst the nuns, and how come there have been so many babies that have been born from nuns? Because the desire that we have to procreate and to have sex, it's such a strong desire that God gave us. And it's a beautiful thing as long as it's under what God the purview that God gives us, right? But I remember when I lived in upstate New York years ago, I grew up in Rochester, New York, and there was a time that um the nuns, I believe they live in what's called a rectory. And um one some of the garbage men found a a newborn baby in the garbage can in the garbage dump and they heard the baby crying and it was from one of the nuns and it was in the news for about 3 days and then it was gone. Nobody ever said anything. It was covered up. Amen. And so the main reason for this is because God said it's no longer good that men should be alone. It is God's will for us to be married. Amen. Um, so if God said that it's not good for man to be alone, that's the problem, right? When man is alone. But God has a
solution to Adam's problem. He said, "I will make a help meet for him or otherwise other way another way of saying is a helper who is suitable for him. Your wife will be suitable for you. That means she is a perfect fit for you. She will enhance you, undergard you, cover your weaknesses, pray for you. Wise, can I get a witness? Amen. Amen. Right. That's what she is there for. So, let's real quick, let's jump over now to Proverbs, right? Chapter 18. We're going to go into Proverbs real quick. I want you to look at the scripture. We're going to look at it and then we're going to come back to Genesis 2. And this is the one everybody knows, right? Proverbs 18:22. He who finds or findeth the wife or finds a wife finds a good thing and obtains favor from the Lord. I want to look at three words or three words or phrases here. We want to concentrate in this verse. The first one is the word findeth or finds. Okay? He who finds a wife. In the Hebrew is the word mons and it means to find to secure or to acquire. But you got to dig a little got to dig a little deeper here. When you dig a little deeper into the definition, it helps us better understand what the Lord is saying here. Because if you don't under if you don't dig a little deeper when it says when a man finds a wife, this is what you'll think in the natural mind. I got to find her. I got to go try. I got to go date. I got to go find her. That's not what it means. Can I show y'all something? Single people out there. Oh, I love this. When you dig a little deeper, it means, check this out, to come upon, to happen upon, to be found, for to be discovered. Oh, I love this. I love this because when I was when I looked at these four definitions, when I dug a little deeper into this Hebrew word, the first two definitions is for the man and the last two definitions is for the woman. It says to come upon or to happen upon. That's how what it's like for the man. You just happen upon. You're in the grocery store. You're checking out some oranges. You see that big beautiful orange. You put you reach to grab it and somebody's else's hand is reaching and y'all touch that same orange at the same time and you look and look at it. All of a sudden, the heavens open. Amen. you happened upon her. Pastor Dean, I'm thinking about you and I've heard your story about meeting Nancy. I know you had gone
through a bad divorce. You had lost your church. You had been depressed for a couple years. You were not even thinking about getting married again. And you go to this place. You're invited to go to this place. And there Nancy was upspeaking. I think she was over that time at one of these places where you you help women who were in crisis pregnancies not abort their babies. Correct. And you hear her speaking and you go what see you happen upon her. You happen upon. That's what it says there. Want to look at that one more time. You come upon it says to come upon or to happen upon. But here's the last two definition. Oh, Pastor D, I thought about you on these two. To be found or to be discovered. Pastor D did a message a couple years ago, you guys, called Are You Worth Finding? Oh, what a powerful message. If you have not heard it, go to Next Level Ministries. Look in the archives, find that message, and you got to hear it because it's so I told her it was one of the best messages she ever did. It is so anointed. See, it's one thing to be found, but are you worth finding? I'm not even going to go there today. I'm going to leave that for Pastor D for y'all to see that. But do y'all see that? That God deals with both of them here. So that's the word in the Hebrew when a man finds a wife. Here's the next thing. Good thing, right? Or as we say it in the black neighborhood, good thing. Your good name. See, once you discover her, right? And once you happen upon her and then if you marry her, God says she becomes your good thing. Amen. Now we want to look at one more thing. Favor. The word favor there in the Hebrew is the word rat son and it means now check this out. God said I'm going to do you a favor. He said when I bring you your good. Let me tell y'all what this means. He says this what the word favor here means. He said she's going to bring you pleasure. A sie now she going to bring you delight. Oh yes. She's going to bring you good will. And then the last one is she's going to bring you acceptance. That means she's going to accept you just the way you are. Amen. God is doing you a favor when he brings you your good thing. Amen. Now let's go back to Genesis chapter 2. Look at verse 18 one more time. God says this. It's not good that man should be alone. And then next he gives the remedy. He said, I will make a help meat or suitable for him. Right? And I want to let you single guys know something here. When God says this, he knows the exact time to do this in your life. Adam is in the garden doing his thing. naming all the animals God's
bringing to the animals. Said, "You name them." He was a bad boy, y'all. Adam was just somebody just walking around heaven just he was made in the image and likeness of God. I want you to think how brilliant he actually was that God bring God made the animals. He said, "I made all the creeping things. I made the fowls of the air." But he didn't name any of them. He said, "Adam, you do it." He's walking around. He's doing what he's chilling the ground. He's He's taking care of the garden. And then God says something. The Godhead says something. They say to themselves, "It's no longer good that Adam be alone." God knows the exact time in your life that he's supposed to bring your wife. Do y'all know that? That's why you happen. You ain't got to go out date. I always say dating is not even a biblical principle. When you look throughout the the scriptures, every time, especially in the Old Testament, you see this principle God brings. Oh, let me get there. I'm going to show y'all some things in the word. Amen. So, let's look now at Ecclesiastes 4. and 10. Shoot, I've got what I want here. I'm sorry. Let's look at Ecclesiastes. Um, no, I'm sorry. I'm wrong. Let's stay here at Genesis 2. Genesis 2. I'm sorry. Genesis 2. And we're going to look at verse 21. Now, we haven't finished going over there. It says, "And the Lord God caused a deep sleep to fall upon Adam." Now today what this symbolizes is that while you're waiting on the Lord to send you the desire of your heart and his promise right his promise is I'll I'll send you a help that is suitable unto you. God can touch you with the Holy Spirit and if you want and allow him, he will quell your sexual desires. Or in other words, he will allow them to go into a deep sleep. I didn't say they're dead. I just said they're asleep. And I can tell you God can do it. He's done it for me before in my life. And some of you probably can raise your your own hand there. But God will allow that. He will allow your those desires to go into a deep sleep. And then in verse 22, it says from Adam's rib, from his rib, he this is the reason why your wife that God sends to you or brings to you is suitable for you because God takes part of you. He knows exactly who you are and exactly what you
need. So God is making her. He's shaping her Christian character. He's making and molding her just for you. Amen. And then if you look at the end of verse 22 there, it says, it says, "And he brought her unto the man." You guys, I want you to understand that God will bring her to you. This is God's job. It's his responsibility, not yours. This is so different from what the world teaches, right? The world says there's a lot of fish in the sea and just keep casting and pulling them in until you find the right one. And that's how we are in the world, right? You have anybody ever tell y'all, somebody tell y'all in the past, somebody break up with you? Oh man, don't worry about a lot of fish in the sea. Just keep casting. That's not how it is in the kingdom. That's not how it is in the kingdom, right? Um, you know, the the world will tell you, "D, test the waters. Try it out. Get a sample before you commit." That's what the world says, right? But that's not how it is. No, that's not how we do it in the kingdom of God. You are to go after God with your whole heart. Wait on him, and he will prepare her. And at that right moment in your life, he will present her to you. You guys, this reminds me of Matthew 6 and33. Jesus put it this way. He said, "But seek you first the kingdom of God and his righteousness." And he said, "All these things shall be added unto you." You need a job, seek the kingdom first. You need a spouse, seek the kingdom first. He said, "I'll add it." He didn't say you had to work for it. He didn't say you had to look for it. He didn't say you had to dig for it. He didn't say you had to keep casting. He said, "Seek you first, my king. Go after me. See what I'll do for you." Amen. At that right time. Now verse 24, you guys, I'm going to read this and I'm going to tell you this is the biggest piece of advice I can give you after you get the biggest piece of advice I can give you before you get married is this. Don't peek, seek. All right? Don't cheat. Seek. Don't cheat the process in God. Just go after him. Don't peek it out. Don't be trying to figure it out for yourself. That's the biggest piece of advice I can give you before you get married. But now I'm about to give you the biggest piece of advice I can give you after you get married. It's in verse
24. Can we read it together? Therefore shall a man leave his father and mother and cleave unto his own wife. Y'all, here it is. Here's the principle. Biggest piece of advice I can give you. Leave and cleave. Y'all, if I can give you any advice, the worst thing you can do is get married and be living with mama and daddy or living right next door. That has caused more problems. Somebody's mama still up in their business. Been a lot of divorces because of that. or call daddy and fix my car, but don't talk to husband by cuz they're right there cuz daddy knows how to fix fix cars. The Bible says, "For this reason shall a man leave his father and cleave unto his own wife." Now listen, I know there's going to be situations where there's sometimes you have I know my middle daughter and her husband made some bad decisions financially. We had to help them out for about eight months. Didn't we, Pastor Dean? They had to come and live with us. But when they came and live with I called Pastor Dean, I said, "Listen, I'mma let them come." And I even called my dad to get wisdom. He said, "Let them come, but tell them they got a deadline cuz we're trying to help you get on your feet, but I didn't want them to get comfortable living in our house because I understood this principle." Amen. Amen. So you leave and you cleave unto your own wife. That's part one. Okay, let's go on into the benefits of a spouse, part two. Two are better than one. So now we're going to look at Ecclesiastes chapter 4. Okay, so let me get there. Ecclesiastes chapter 4 and we're going to look at verses 9 through 12 here. It says, "Two are better than one because they have a good reward for their labor. For if they fall, the one will lift up his fellow. But woe to him that is alone when he falls, for he have not another to help him up. Again, two lie together, then they have heat. But how can one be warm alone? And if one prevail against him, two shall withstand him, and a three four three-fold cord is not quickly broken. So this passage of scripture, if I had to summarize it, sum it all up. I
could take verses the verse 9 and verse 12 and put them together, we could sum it up. So it would read like this. Two are better than one because they have a good reward for their labor and a threefold cord is not quickly broken. As I think back about my life, about ministry, D and I working together, we have accomplished much more together than if we were doing it alone. The same is in marriage. God brings two together because he knows he will get a better return for his investment than if you were just by yourself. You actually compliment each other. I know it doesn't seem like it all the time, but one of the things that the the Lord has shown me over the years is that sure, the man is the head. God has called us to be the head, but men look through a certain lens. Our brains are made different. Men are more practical minded, right, Travis? Things got to add up for us. 2 plus two has got to equal four, right? And we're focused. We can just focus on one thing, one task at one time. Women are different. Women are discern more in the spirit, right? They're they can process two or three things at one time. And so God brings you together. You're you're the one that's the practical mind. She's the one that's discerning more things in the spirit, but God balances it out. And actually, your wife should be your first line of counsel. Because we look through that one lens, we have a blind spot. Do you get it? And so you should go to your wife and say, "Hey honey, what do you think about this?" You want to hear her her side of it because she's going to tell you something you can't see. Amen. See how you compliment each other. And so God brings you together. See, most of the time I believe when God says it's no longer good that Kamari should be alone or that it's no longer good that Jordan should be alone, he's doing it for a reason. Because God is now preparing you and getting you ready to do a work in his kingdom. But you need your help that is suitable for you. That helper that is suitable on you. And she's going to be your see your blind spots that you can't see. So you can be effective in ministry. Do y'all get that? So in verse 10 here in Ecclesiastes 4 says, "If one shall fall, the other will will lift his fellow." But he says woe to them that when they're alone and nobody is there to help them up. When I was thinking about this, and this could mean many, many different things, and I know Mike and Susan is not here right now, but I was couldn't help but think of everything that Mike and those that go to Fire and Grace know who Mike is. And Dance Level Ministries, a precious brother, but everything he's gone through, all the surgeries, the last two
weeks of his life, and Susan was there to lift him up. She was there praying for him. She was there in that hospital fighting with doctors, getting up in their face. You going to take care of my man. We didn't heard some of the stories. Amen. Pastor Dean, I thought about you and me when we both had co mine first, you a few months after me. What would where would we have be if they weren't there to lift us up during that time? Deok care of me. Dean took care of me. I could sit here and just talk for the next hour about all the things she did for me. And I probably wouldn't be here today if it wasn't for her taking care of me and her prayers and her intercession. Amen. That's what I think about this. You guys, two is better than one. And when you start getting old and I know a lot of y'all younger here now, keep living. Them knees going to start talking to you. Them ankles going to start talking to you. Them hips going to start talking to you. and you're not going to look as good as you once did. Till I tell y'all something, two are better than one. Your marriage is a good thing. Amen. Amen. And then verse 12 says, "If one prevails against him," he says, "wo shall withstand him, and a three-fold cord or rope is not easily broken." You guys, to me, this is a trinity verse. Not in the traditional sense, but I'm thinking here, especially talking about marriage, there's the husband, there's the wife, and there's God. That makes the three fourfold cord, and it's not easily broken. Amen. Amen. But marriage is a very good thing. Now, let's look at Deuteronomy 32:30. very popular verse. I use it a lot myself. It says it, "How should one chase a thousand and two put 10,000 to flight except their rock had swed them and the Lord had shut them up." This passage is actually God admonishing Israel for disobedience and allowing their enemies to put them to flight. A lot of people don't know that about this verse. Amen. But there is a spiritual principle that is established here and it works in both ways and on both sides. If you turn away from God long enough, he will allow the enemy to put you to flight. But also to the believer, I believe this is is so also that if you have faith, I believe the the faith of one believer can put a thousand to flight. And then I if you get two or more believers together, as the word says here, you can put 10,000 to
flight. I want to kind of back it up with another verse of scripture. Can we go to Matthew 18? Matthew 18:19 says this that I say unto you that if two of you shall agree on earth that's touching anything that they ask that shall be done for them of my father. Verse 20. Where two or three are gathered in my name there am I or I like I like to switch that around y'all. There I am is in the midst of it. Amen. I call that a mega church. A real mega church. All it takes is two or three. He said two or three will come in my name touching and agreeing on anything I am is in the midst. And if I am is in the midst, all things are possible. Amen. You guys, you want to talk about Can I take out one of the most powerful things on earth? a husband and wife getting on their knees, touching, grabbing their hand and praying. You talk about something powerful in the spirit realm. The enemy hates when you do that. Amen. Amen. But it's power. Pray for your kids. Pray for whatever situation because see those two are better than one. Amen. That's part two. Let's get to part three down. the benefits of the Scottish part. Love covers. Love covers. So let's go to first Peter 4 and 8. It says, "And above all things have fervent." Now in the King James here it says charity. And I'm going to read a few verses here as I go forth. And I'm going to substitute every single time the word charity with I like it better this way. Okay. It says, "And above all things have fervent love among yourselves, for love shall cover the multitude of sins." When we walk in love, we don't focus on the flaws of our spouse. It's not because they're not there. We just don't notice them because of love. Have you guys ever heard the expression, love is blind? Y'all, there's never been a true a truer statement made, love is blind. Have you guys ever seen a a lady date a guy, right? And she's dating this this guy. He's a bum. He's a woman now, right? And everybody else can see it. Don't worry. You want to know why? She's a love and love
covers. You can't see it. So, how come she can't see it, Sister D? Everybody else can see it. She's in love. What about a guy that's dating a girl and she's has a controlling Jezebel spirit? using him for his money, right? Everyone else can see it but him. Why? Because he's in love. Love covers right in mass. And he can even go as far to just making you blind to some things. But what is love? What is love? The Bible tells us what love is. Can we go to 1 Corinthians 13? Let's do it. Let's go to first Corinthians 13. Let's read. That's where ours says. Okay. Let's read uh 4 through 8. Love suffers long and is kind. Love envth not. Love vaunt not itself. Is not puffed up. Does not behave itself unsamely. Seeks not her own. is not easily provoked, thinks no evil, rejoices not in iniquity, but rejoices in the truth, beareth all things, believeth all things, hopeeth all things, endureth all things, love never fails. I want to stop right there, the very beginning there. I want to go back over some of these things we just read. I want to start in verse five. In the King James there at the very end it says thinkketh no evil. When you look that up and in many other translations, you know what it means? Keeps no record of wrongs. Keeps no record of wrongs. So, you know, sometimes know women have great men on the show. I remember 2022, March 17th, 2:32 in the afternoon, you said. But the word says here, love keeps no record of wrongs. Amen. Look at verse
four. Love vaunted not itself. That means it does not boast. It's not prideful. It's not puffed up. And it's not arrogant. Verse seven, it says bears all things. That means when you look it up, it means love never gives up. It can take a licking but keep on ticking. Thank you, Pastor D. It can take a licking and keep on ticking. How many of y'all know about me and Pastor D's story? He said I was going to say this yesterday. married for 12 years, divorced for almost two, and now we're we're our anniversary be coming up uh the 30th of this month, and I think it'll be 15 years that we've been back together. Y'all know what love bears all things. It never gives up. And when I tell God this woman to the licking and kept on ticking, if you don't believe me, read her books. Did you bring any books? God, we should have brought some books. But it also says in that verse, it believes all things. When you look that up, you know what it means? Love never loses faith. Never loses faith. Verse eight, it says love never fails. And this has a two-part meaning. It means love never ends. But it also means that applying the action of love is always the right thing to do. Reminds me of another verse in the scripture. 1 John 4:18 says, "Perfect love," or you could say, "Perfected love cast out fear." Wow. Can I tell y'all something? We all have the ability to love. Let's go to First John 4 here. Let's go. Right. There we are. I just just did a quote out of 1 John 4. Let's go to first We'll stay in First John 4. Let's look at verse 7 and 8. It says, "Belove, let us love one another. For love is of God, and everyone that loveth is born of God and knows God." I want to stop right there. I want you guys to understand something here. Love is a command from God. Love is from God because God is love. And every person that lives by love is born of God and knows God. It is the proof or evidence that you are born of God's spirit or born
again. Let's look at verse eight now. He that loveth not knoweth not God for God is love. I want to stop there one more time because if you do not have according to this scripture, if you do not have the capacity to love, then there is no way that you are truly a Christian because God is love and his spirit lives inside of us. We all have the capability to love. Amen. So we see that because we are Christians, we have the ability to love and to grow in our demonstration of love. Let's look at Colossians 3 now. Colossians 3:13-14. Listen, forbear forbearing one another and forgiving one another. If any man have a quarrel against any, even as Christ forgave you, so also do you. And above all these things, put on love, which is the bond of perfectness there. So in verse 13, it talks about forbearing and forgiving. Forbearing means, can I tell you'all what it means? bearing with putting up with one another. That's what it means. Just putting up with one another. And then it talks about forgiving one another. Verse 14, it says, "And above all things, look what it says here, verse 14, put on love, which is the bond of perfectness." I want to read verse 14 in the amplified. It says, "By all these things, put on and wrap yourselves in unselfish love, which is the perfect bond of unity." God tells us that we have to put on Love, right? Well, put it on. You know, for many years I thought that love was a feeling. Goosebumps, warm and fuzzies. You know, that's a very small part of love and it's the easiest part of love. But the goosebumps and the warm and fuzzies is only going to last so long after you get married. For some of you, your warm and fuzzies lasted for a
year. For some of you, it lasted for a month. For some of you, it lasted for a week. For some of you, it lasted for a day. Should I go as far as say some of you only lasted for an hour? But I tell you, those born fuzzies is going to go away. Can I get an amen? Right. So, look at this verse 14 again. It says here in the very last part of it, it says which is the bond of perfectness. Whenever the Bible talks about being complete or perfect or perfected, it always refers to spiritual maturity. What I have discovered and is growing in more and more is that agape love is a choice. You couldn't That's why God says, "Put on love when the warm and fuzzies ain't there no more." When he's put on 40 lbs. When she's had three kids and she got a little little love handles and stuff. God said, "You ain't going to feel the warming fuzzies." But he says, "You know what you have to do? You got to make a choice to put on love. Wow. It's your choice. Then at verse 14, the very first part of it, he says, "Above all things, put on love. You choose whether to put it on or to keep it off. It's your choice." So now let's let's go back in Colossians chapter 3 a little bit. Let's go back and look at now at verses 8 and 9. Look what Paul says here. He says, "But now you also put off all these anger, wrath, malice, blasphemy, filthy communications out of your mouth." Verse N, he continues to tell you what we need to put off. Lie not to one another. See that you have put off the old man with his deeds. Wow. So Paul tells us what to put off. He tells us what to put on. Right now let's go to verse 10. He says, "And have put on the new man which is renewed in the knowledge after the image of him that created him." Then verse 12, "Put on therefore
as the elect of God, holy and beloved, bowels of mercy." That jumped out. mercies. He didn't say mercy. Mercy. Do y'all know some days reminds me God said God's mercies are new every every morning, right? Some days she'll get on your your nerves first thing in the morning to show some mercy. Then by noon, she done got on your nerves again. By 3, she done got on your nerves again. By seven, she done got on your nerves again. God didn't say mercy. He said mercies, vows of mercies, kindness, humbleness of mind, which is just another way of saying humility, meekness, longsuffering. But here's the conclusion, you guys. We decide to put on love or to not put on love. Amen. That was part three. Love covers the benefit of the spouse part four. Sand paper and silk. Sandpaper and silk. I want to start off by talking about silicon. Here's silicon in marriage. walks in the park, deep meaningful conversations. I love when me and deacon are deep, meaningful conversations, sexual intimacy, anniversaries, baby births, going out to dinner, joking around with each other, vacations, etc. That's silk. We all love that, don't we? It's sandpaper. Here we go. Getting on each other's nerves. Why? Because you view things like a man looks at them and she views things how a woman looks at them. Little quirks and flaws in their personalities that just drive you bonkers, right? They snore. They don't take the garbage out when it's full. They don't really keep the house as tidy as it should be, etc. This is the sandb. Most people en enjoy and only want silk in marriage and they absolutely load the same paper not understanding that God did give you your spouse to be a blessing to
you and to enjoy all the silk and we praise God for that. But what they don't realize is that God also uses the sin paper to reveal your true self. to reveal the hidden things in your heart that don't look and act like Jesus. And since God is always trying to conform us to the image of his son, he uses our spouses to fester up those flaws so that the Holy Spirit can point them out to us. And we have to go to God to seek for correction and to get those things out of our heart. Do y'all get how we use the same paper? When your wife does something and you just jump off in anger and get mad real quick or say something real mean that hurts her or she say something to you. You ain't like my daddy mean. My daddy can fix things. God uses he lets you rub each other the wrong way because there's things that are hidden in our heart. You guys, when I before I got married, when I first got married, I thought I was a loving person. And God begins to show you, you don't even understand the beginning of love. And he'll start showing you things deep in your heart. And he uses your spouse to do it. So that you can be more like Jesus. So that you can be patient. Let patience have a perfect work. It's how God does it. Shows you you got an anger problem. That's how God does it. Shows you you don't have any faith in your husband. That's how God does it. These things will come out of your heart. The Bible says from the abundance of the heart, the mouth speaks. And then the Holy Spirit said, "Uhhuh." Every time she talks about that, you go off. You start cursing. You start calling her names. That ain't Jesus. But he uses the same paper to show. Can I tell y'all something? That's a benefit to you. I know. We don't want to hear about that one. That's part four. All right. We're coming in for a landing. This is part five. The benefits of the spouse. This is how I want to close today. I named this message the benefit of the spouse. It was a play on words cuz we have all heard the expression the benefit of the doubt.
Here's an area that I think we all can grow in. Give your spouse the benefit of the doubt. Let's stop thinking of them the worst first. I see this happen a lot. We think the worst first. Amen. Stop thinking they will never get it. crying. Stop allowing the devil to let your thoughts go down rabbit trails that lead to doubt and distrust. Can we make a commitment today that from this point on we will give our spouse the benefit of the doubt. Amen. Amen. Amen. I want to close in prayer. So, Father God, Lord, I just we just come before you right now, Lord. And I just believe that the Holy Spirit has spoken to each and every one of the people in this room. And Lord, I believe that everyone that will watch this later, Lord, that your spirit is going to speak to them. And Father, you wanted to remind us today how beautiful marriage is, that it's a benefit to us. It's a blessing to us, Father. And your word reminds us, Lord, that at a certain time in our life, you said, "It's no longer good that Adam be alone. No longer good that Troy be alone. No longer good that Dean be alone." And you knew that right moment to bring her. You have been preparing her for years to bring her into our lives, Father, to enhance our lives, to undergard us, to be a help suitable unto us. And Father, I thank you today that you show us all the way that marriage two are better than one, Lord. Father, when we fall, there's one of us there to pick the other up. And father even today Lord you have talked about giving your spouse the benefit of the doubt. And so Holy Spirit I just pray right now that you touch each and every marriage in this room and even for those Lord who are not married but are still waiting on you to bring to them their good thing. Father, that they haven't even learned and got instructed today. And Father, we just thank you once again for just speaking your heart to us, Father. And we give you honor, we give you glory, and we give you praise in Jesus mighty
name. Amen. Amen. [Applause]